Real Life Q&A with Camy Tang

March 2004

Q: I just broke up with my first "serious" boyfriend. How will I ever get over it?

A: There's never an easy answer when you suffer a break-up. You're going through a tough emotional time, but don't let your depression get the better of you.

1) Remember that your focus needs to be on God, not on your ex-boyfriend or anyone else in your life. How you view yourself is based on what you think the most important person in your life thinks of you. If the most important person is your ex-boyfriend, your self-esteem won't be so great because of what you believe he thinks of you. But if the most important person is God, your self-esteem will slowly reassert itself and you will heal, because God loves you. You are covered with the blood of Christ, and He thinks you are wonderful and worth every drop he bled for you.

So how do you make God the most important person in your life?

a. Stay heavily in the Word. This is your key to feeling better. Read your Bible every day--there is something supernatural and divine about the act of reading the Word that PROTECTS you and somehow HEALS you.

b. Pray every day. Every time you start feeling upset, send up a quick prayer for help to remain calm. Every minute of the day, if you have to. Keep that line of communication with God open so that He can help you change your thinking and attitude, and heal your heart.

c. Tell a FEMALE friend to pray with you and for you (a male friend will often put you in danger of rebounding). This is vital for both accountability and the power of prayer. Your friend will help you remain in the Word and keep praying, while she herself lifts you up to the Throne of God. Remember James 5:16: Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

2) Be aware that depression is often spiritual warfare. Resist Satan and his lying whispers, and the comfortable haze of sadness and depression. God didn't create us to be depressed! He created us to feel His joy and love. Anything that is NOT that--or that tries to keep you from it--might be your enemy trying to make you stumble.

3) Learn to forgive--yourself and your ex. Sometimes God allows us to experience different relationships in order to teach us more about people and different characteristics, so that when The One does come along, you will readily recognize him.

If you feel anger, your rage could also be Satan trying to get you to fall away from God--lift your feelings up to Him in prayer every day, every hour, every minute. Don’t deny what you're feeling--after all, God appreciates our honesty and raw feelings when we come to Him--but don't hold onto it. Desire to give your feelings to God. It may not happen immediately, but eventually He will take your anger away as He heals you, if you are willing to let Him have it.

Have you gone through a recent breakup? E-mail us--we at RubyZine want to pray for you!