October 2004
Q: My best friend betrayed me so terribly that I just can't forgive her. But the Bible says that if we don't forgive others, then God can't forgive us. What do I do?
A: Forgiveness isn't easy, but it's what separates Christians from the rest of the world. People who truly love and follow Christ will desire to be forgiving like Christ, even though it's hard.
That's the first step. Are you grateful for what Christ has done for you? Is it real to you? Do you desire to be like Him?
The second step isn't an emotion, it's a conscious decision. You choose to forgive the person. You may still feel anger and hurt, but you make the commitment to eventually change your heart and let go of your bitter emotions.
God is the only one who can take our broken hearts and make them whole again. Surrender yourself to Him and wait for Him to work. Sometimes it takes longer, depending on how hurt we are, but reach for His peace to eventually replace the anger inside.
When this happens to me, I often end up praying more during the day. Practically every minute, I'm feeling anger and rage against that person, and I have to pray and relinquish my feelings back to God. He doesn't mind, even if I have to do this a billion times a day. He's pleased because I'm doing my best to obey His command to forgive others.
Now, how do you act when you see that person again? Don't let your anger lead you to sinful behavior. Desperately rely on God's power, strength, and peace. You'll find that you will behave better than you expect. Be polite. Remember Ephesians 4:32 "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." You don't have to be best buddies again, but don't say or do anything that would make Jesus disappointed in you.
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