Only a Little Bad Stuff by Christina Higashi

This past week I went over to my friend’s house and watched the movie “The Notebook.” My friends had already seen it and they said they cried. Toward the middle of the movie I was sniffling, and by the end of the movie I was bawling my eyes out. My nose was so stuffed up I couldn’t breathe. It was a really sweet love story.

“The Notebook” has a couple scenes I wish they would have cut out, but we all know how Hollywood is and what they think sells. After watching the movie, I was thinking about if I would encourage people to watch it, and I heard myself thinking, “Well it’s a great movie, it just has a little bad part.” Then I remembered a story I had heard at a conference:

One evening a mom noticed her two teenagers and elementary child sitting down in the family room to watch a movie. Discovering that the movie was one that she knew contained a sex scene, she kindly confronted her children about the wisdom of watching that movie. They came unglued!

"Mom, don't be so old-fashioned! It's the only bad part in the movie and it doesn't last more than forty seconds! It's no big deal! Besides, the rest of the movie is so good."

"Well...ok...how about if I make you kids some of your favorite brownies?"

“All right! Hey Mom, you're the greatest!" replied the young film critics.

An hour later, the mom came into the family room with a plate full of warm brownies and glasses of cold milk. The kids hit pause on the movie and went into vulture mode. Before they could begin the feeding frenzy, the mother explained something:

"Now these are your favorites brownies - I included all the normal ingredients you love, like chocolate, sugar, fudge, chocolate chips and caramel on the top. And I added something new to the recipe. I went out to the back yard and picked up just a tiny bit of doggey doo that our dog left on the lawn. It's the only bad part in the recipe and it's no big deal - you probably won't even notice it. Besides, everything else in the brownies are sooo good!"

No brownies were eaten that day and the kids ejected the movie from the player.

I look at myself and I wonder how much of myself I am compromising. It seems like every movie out there contains either swearing, killing, or sex.

Titanic: I love that movie but that was seriously pushing the PG13 scale. Just the idea of what kind of message it is secretly sending to people is disturbing. If you think about it closely, Rose ends up getting married to someone and she has kids and grandkids. But who does she still think about and dream about at night? Not her deceased husband, but the short one night of passion with someone else. It is sending the message that it is better to just go after things and not worry because it will give you pleasure. It doesn’t show the problems or the consequences that you will have to face.

We just finished a Dating series just last week with my youth group. I love how everyone wants to save themselves for marriage, and a lot of them took pledges and made that commitment. We also had a dating panel where people who are married and one who was single came in and answered questions. It was great and they talked about why sex before marriage was not the right way to go. And it seems so easy when you are sitting in a chair and not in a relationship.

I guess I worry because I know it is not that easy. I don’t want them to go into the commitment with the wrong mindset, thinking they should because everyone else in youth group is making it, or because it sounds like a nice thing to do right now. I want them to make it with a serious heart and realize that staying sexually pure is not just abstaining from intercourse; it is everything else.

Keeping yourself pure is every part of your body and every part of your mind. Even what you think about. Maybe I am being a little blunt, but if I make everything sound all innocent you all might not understand the reality of it.

You really need to set your boundaries before you are in a compromising situation. Talk to the person you are thinking about getting into a relationship with, before you are in a relationship. Tell them your boundaries, and if they can not agree with that, then do not date them; they are only going to make things harder for yourself. When you are in a relationship with them, you are not going to get them to think the way you do, they are more likely to get you to think the way they do and compromise your own beliefs.

For my own life, I am extremely cautious now who I would even consider getting in a relationship with. I don’t want to be in one right now because there is so much going on in my life and because I really need to work on my foundation with God. I don’t want to get too dependant on a guy because I know in the past that has been a big problem for me.

So if I do find someone, they have to have the same thinking that I do, not doing anything until marriage. I have been thinking about not kissing them until the wedding day. And then really making it a point to not be alone with a guy and to stay in public places or with other people. But I need to find some who is up for that kind of commitment.

It is hard to find someone like that, but I am patient and it is all in God’s hands. I still have my whole life and I want to do so many things. So for the next couple years I really don’t want to have anyone distracting me. And I love being single right now, so all you guys and girls, enjoy it. God will send someone in his timing. Don’t worry.