The Day I Became *Her*: Tips on Dealing with a Boyfriend's Difficult Mother

By Tasha Grier

Okay so you’ve been dealing with it for a while. You’re in a relationship with this guy and you care for him a lot. You’ve dealt with his friends, you’ve dealt with your enemies, and you may have even dealt with negative words from your own family. But then it comes…the moment you knew you would have to deal with but dreaded with an extreme passion.

What was it? Who was it? His mother!

Yes, his mother! I remember a time when I was dating this one particular guy. We had just gotten back from dinner and were sitting outside in front of the church, when his mother walked up to the us and asked her son (the guy I was dating) if he was coming to dinner with them. He told her that we had already made plans, but we would stop by and hang out. She then said (and I will never forget these priceless words…) “You’re going to bring HER?”

Amazing huh! You deal with ex-girlfriends and all of those people who wish they could be you. But you never thought that his mother would be your biggest challenge.

It all starts when the two of you are spending time together and you’re actually just enjoying your friendship. There’s no sexual tension or frustrations of intimacy. The two of you are just cool. Then it starts. There are phone calls to his cell or pager, asking for ice cream or food to be brought to the house. Then other demands start, popping up while the two of you go out together. Soon she starts calling your house asking to speak to him.

At the start of this, it’s okay. But then the calls become closer and closer together. Then demands are more intense … she wants to talk to you.

Number one rule (I learned this the hard way), never get involved in family issues … no matter what it is. If your friend is having problems with his mom, or anyone in the family, don’t stress. It isn’t your job to mediate within his family. You are his friend, so be there for moral support and a listening ear if he needs it. If you try to help out too much, you could end up straining your relationship with him.

Face it. If you are dating a momma’s boy you will probably be the enemy for a while (at least for the first couple of years anyway). If this guy means a lot to you, learn to deal with it. But don’t stoop to the level of name calling, not speaking, or even being rude. This is a game of killing with kindness, drowning with decency, suffocating with sweetness.

Yes it will probably be hard at first, but the more you do it, the better things will become. You are a smart young lady. Never allow someone else’s opinions of you to make you vindictive. You are created to be a great girl. So when dealing with others, especially mothers, show them how great you can be!

About the Author:

Tasha Grier teaches math and special education. She enjoys reading, writing, singing, walking, laughing and being with her friends and family. She loves God with all her heart.