September 2005
Q: How can I learn how to kiss and other important stuff? No way am I going to my parents, that's just icky.
A: Before I answer that, let me caution you on who NOT to ask.
Magazines: They might seem very informative, but get real--most of that stuff is fabricated or sensationalized to sell more copies. They emphasize the physical and not the emotional, and trust me, it isn't as fun physically if spiritually you're not there.
God is mysterious, and He made a mystery when He created sex and all the good stuff that goes with it, including kissing. It might seem straightforward--take A, insert in B--but there's a spiritual aspect that we humans can't understand. It's there in Song of Solomon if you study the symbolism.
It means that just the physical isn't going to cut it, and you need spiritual guidance for this kind of stuff so that you can experience the full (Holy) Spiritual pleasure of this thing called love.
That's why He also wants you to wait for marriage--when two people have prayerfully taken this huge step, then the spiritual aspect of sex is mind-blowing.
Marriage is a mental, emotional, spiritual, and public binding of a man and woman (the mental part is especially important for guys). Because sex is spiritual, having sex with someone you're not bound to like that is a gash in your spirit that takes time and prayer to heal. It will affect you for YEARS when you finally do get married, in ways difficult to understand, much less explain.
Peers: What--your friends are going to know the mysterious spiritual aspect of sex? You need to ask someone with more wisdom, preferably someone who's lived longer than a decade or two.
Who can you ask? Counting down in decreasing order of preference:
Spiritual mentor: Maybe a relative, or someone from church--a youth leader, a Sunday School teacher, a pastor. Now don't get all jiggy on me, hear me out. God created sex, so shouldn't your youth leaders and/or pastors know and understand it the best? Only go to teachers and leaders you feel comfortable with, and make sure who you ask is someone you can trust. Not all churches are open about sex education, either, so this might not be an option for you.
Parents: This isn't the worst thing in the world, trust me. If you have a good relationship with your folks, they probably prefer you go to them (or your church) for this kind of info, and they understand your personality, lifestyle, temptations, etc. They can help with accountability and/or guidance, or just help in understanding things when life gets confusing.
Above all, keep this in prayer. Yes, God really does want to hear from you on this. He created it, He created you, He wants to be in the loop on all aspects of your life. And He might even throw in some guidance or direction if you ask Him nicely. :)
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